Chapter Twenty Five: Christopher

“It’s a boy!” exclaims Christopher’s father.

“Oh, I feel good things are going to happen for him,” says the mother.

“I wonder what things are destined for this boy.”

A few years later, Christopher and Jones are out in the park and decide to play on the swings.

“Push harder!” shouts Christopher.

“I’m pushing as hard as I can,” says Jones, “Man, why don’t you push me for a change?”

“Mom and Dad say that I might hurt myself if I push! Now push!”

“Come on Chris, this isn’t being fair.”

“Harder!”

A few years later, Christopher and Jones are out in the mall looking for some clothes.

“Chris! What are you doing? We’re looking for clothes!”

“I am trying to get a girlfriend.”

“You’re never going to get a girlfriend just by sitting there, now get up, and let’s go!”

“Hold on, I think this one wants to talk to me.”

“Chris, you’re never going to learn are you.”

“I thought she wanted to talk to me.”

A few years later, Karen sits at Christopher’s high school graduation.

“Go Chris!” she shouts from the sidelines.

On the podium, the principal waits for Christopher to approach the stage. Christopher hesitates and begins to take the stand. He starts to cry.

“What’s wrong with Chris?” asks Karen to his mom.

“I’m not sure.”

A few years later, Christopher meets Shana at the supermarket.

“Madam, I don’t trust that young man walking in the aisles,” says a woman to Shana.

“I know. I’m already taking care of it.”

“Hey you! Get out of here! Management’s sick of you! If you don’t have anything to buy, then get out!” Shana shouts to Christopher.

“I do want something to buy, your heart,” says Christopher to Shana.

“My god,” thinks Shana, “This guy’s insane!”

“My god,” thinks Christopher, “This girl is talking to me!”

A few years later, Christopher meets Melanie outside of Waynesworth Enterprises.

“Hello,” says Melanie, “Are you playing Rocket Flingers?”

“Why yes, do you want to see my Nuclear Spider?” asks Christopher.

“Well, let’s see if you can handle my Rhino Rocket!” exclaims Melanie.

After a few rounds of battling, Christopher had won the battle with a massive slam attack.

“Man that was fun. We should do that again sometime,” says Melanie.

“Okay!” exclaims Christopher.

“Here, meet me at Game Wars every Friday for a tournament! I gotta get to work, see you there!” she says as she heads into the office.

“I think she is the one,” Christopher thinks to himself.

A few years later, Christopher attempts to see Melanie at Game Wars.

“Let me in, you jerks!” Christopher shouts to the police.

“No can do, this is a restraining order. Do not come closer or we will be forced to take action,” says one officer.

“Why do you want to stop me on my journey to find a future wife? What do you have against love?” Christopher yells.

“Sir, he’s getting out of control,” says one officer to another.

“Alright, time to put an end to this,” says another officer.

A few years later, Christopher informs Jones of his parent’s passing.

Hello Jones,

This is Christopher Winnfield Vega. My mother passed away yesterday. It was very close to father’s passing. I am now alone in this house. I tried to turn on the light switch and nothing happened! I went to use the bathroom and the faucet wouldn’t work! The grass keeps getting longer and I don’t know what to do! The television isn’t working! I don’t know why all these things are happening so close to the passing of our parents. Strange, isn’t it?

Love Christopher.

A few years later, a new neighbor moves in next door.

Christopher sits in his house watching outside his window. He sees a man, woman and two girls. He finishes the soda in his hand and throws the can in the pile accumulating in the middle of the room. He opens up another can. He wants to go and meet them, but he fears that the woman would not accept him. Maybe she will come over and talk to him instead.

A few days later, a knock arrives on Christopher’s door. It seems to be a foreign sound to him.

“Hello, my name is Mimi; we’re your new next door neighbors. I would have liked to introduce you to my entire family, but they are busy right now.”

“Hello, my name is Christopher.”

“It’s very nice to meet you!” exclaims Mimi.

“You are very pretty. What race are you?” asks Christopher.

“Oh, many people mistake me for German, but I’m actually part Italian and part African.”

Christopher shuddered as soon as she finished her sentence.

“Is something wrong, Christopher?”

“Nothing,” he says.

“Say, would you like to come in for dinner say at around seven?” asks Mimi.

“Sure Mimi, I’ll be there at seven.”

The next day, Christopher arrives at the household an hour earlier than expected.

“Oh, Christopher,” says Mimi, “We weren’t expecting you until seven.”

“I’m sorry,” says Christopher as he makes his way into the house.

Mimi pauses for a moment, “Say, could you come back in an hour?”

“Oh, okay,” says Christopher as he walks back outside and leaves.

An hour later, at the family dinner table, Christopher takes his place at the table and begins to take huge portions of everything.

“What do you do for a living?” asks Miles.

“I am currently unemployed; I have a degree in Computer Engineering,” says Christopher.

“We might have a position open for you over at Gray Fox Nanotechnology Corp.”

“No thanks,” says Christopher, “Sounds too difficult.”

“Well, if your change your mind, you can look up the company or ask me.”

“Uh, Christopher?” says Kid from across the table.

“Yes?”

“My sister thinks you’re crazy,” says Kid as Vivian tries to cover up Kid’s mouth.

“Oh, that was just a joke!” says Vivian, “Nice going, Kid.”

“I am not crazy. Everyone thinks I am, but they’re wrong. I just want to find my future wife and have my future daughter. Is that so much to ask? Everywhere I turn I find people keep saying these false things about me. It is not true! I am not crazy, you’re crazy! Every last one of you!” he begins to point, “I swear, if I hear anyone say anything bad about me, I hope it weighs on your mind as I tear into your soul!”

The entire family goes silent. Christopher resumes eating as if nothing had happened.

“Kid, let’s go back upstairs,” says Vivian quietly.

“Mom, can we be excused?” asks Kid.

Mimi stays silent as she weakly nods yes. Vivian drags a confused Kid upstairs.

“What’s wrong?” asks Kid, “I wasn’t done eating!”

“That man is going to rape you,” says Vivian.

“What’s rape?”

“Christopher, are you feeling okay?” asks Mimi, “You know, I could recommend you to a few places…”

“I am fine. I know that I will find her; I will marry her, and have our future daughter!” exclaims Christopher.

Miles moves closer to Mimi and whispers, “I could take him out and move him back next door. Looks a bit heavy though.”

“That’s not necessary. He just needs a little TLC,” whispers Mimi.

“This man is clearly insane. It won’t take much to knock him out.”

Before Mimi can respond, Christopher announces that he will miss Master Monster Slaves: The Show if he does not return home. Mimi is about to make an offer for him to watch it in the living room, but Miles stops her. Christopher leaves the house, taking a few leftovers home with him.

“Mimi, I know you’re just trying to be nice, but that man has some issues he needs to work out,” says Miles.

“Why would he want to watch a children’s show?” asks Mimi.

“He seems fat enough to audition for one of them monsters. Didn’t you try out for that show once?”

“I know I could have landed the part of Master Megan! I could have gotten the part!” exclaims Mimi as she continues to rant and rave about how she almost nailed the audition.

The entire family forgets about Christopher and they never go next door ever again. Christopher does the same.

Many years later, Vivian lands a job at Waynesworth Enterprises and has married an ex-convict named Clyde. She receives a call from Kid.

“Yo, Kid, it’s been a while,” says Vivian as she picks up the phone, “How are you and the kids?”

“Look, my teaching job is fine. Turn on your television, look at the news,” says Kid.

“Alright,” says Vivian as she tells Clyde to change the channel.

“If you are just tuning in, we have some breaking news,” says the reporter on the television screen, “A man has barricaded himself in a store at the Greater Hills Mall demanding for the police to back away as he holds a teenaged employee hostage. Here is some live feed from the security camera. What you are about to see may shock you.”

“Get away!” shouts the girl as Christopher approaches.

“Those jerks!” Christopher shouts as the police arrive behind him. He lowers the metal security bars down and begins to make his way towards the girl.

“What do you want?” she yells.

“You are my future wife!”

“What? I’m hardly seventeen! I can’t be anyone’s wife!”

“You came to me in a dream. God has commanded me to have my way with you! I even drew a picture showing what our future will look like!”

“I remember now, I caught you yesterday just staring at me! What is wrong with you, you pervert!” she yells as she begins to throw things at him.

“Holy shit,” says Vivian on the phone, “that’s our old neighbor!”

“Yeah, I can’t believe that he’s still alive. Look at how he fat he’s gotten! I can’t believe he can still move!” exclaims Kid.

“Stop laughing!” shouts Vivian to Clyde, “Kid, you’re still at home right? What happened to him?”

“I don’t know, I never saw him, the house almost seemed unoccupied.”

“We have just been informed that the man’s name is Christopher Winnfield Vega, half-brother to famed author Jones Brimley and former president Karen Vega. He has been detained by police,” announces the reporter.

“Oh, you see that?” says Vivian.

“Yeah, thank God that kid’s alright.”

“That sick bastard, I still remember that dinner, do you?”

“Yeah, that was pretty funny now that I think about it,” says Kid.

“I wonder what’s gonna happen to that sick son of a bitch.”

Many years later, Christopher was found incompetent to stand in trial and has been relocated to a mental institution. Everyone has forgotten about him. He sits alone in his room drawing pictures of creatures that in the hopes that one day, he will hit it big just like big brother Jones. He is given some food and then is left alone. He thinks the nurse is fairly pretty, but a bit old for his age. He’s seventy-nine. He goes to sleep. The next morning, he wakes up and has another God-given dream.

“God, I have listened to you my entire life!” he shouts as he jumps through the window, shattering the glass, “I will not fail you!”

His funeral is held a few days later. No one shows up.

I grow old… I grow old…
I still wear my shirt striped with sleeves rolled.

Shall I walk outside? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear my striped shirt, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the ladies singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them talking on their phones
Walking along the beach in couples when they go
Where the wind blows their hair to and fro

I have lingered in the shadows of the land
With women dressed pretty from neck to thigh
Till reality wakes me, and I die.